The Good Men Project
Let me echo the comments of fellow well-named feminist man, Jeff, on Feminist Allies -- the Good Men Project does not strike me as feminist and it seems to perpetuate the same structural issues, but simply from a masculine, "nice guy" perspective.
I don't wish to overstate my criticism. I support any discussions of masculinity, and a lot of the things at TGM seem like they're going in the right direction. I'm just uneasy about it all. I can't quite put my finger on it all. They seem to have a number of posts that simply celebrate good men doing good things. It stikes me as the kind of puff pieces your local paper does, profiling a "good" person in the community. I mean, I get that they're "The Good Men Project" and they want to showcase men who are, well, "good," but it just doesn't strike me as particularly progressive, or feminist, or anything.
I can't quite put my finger on it. Any of the commenters have any thoughts?
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Whenever men tackle anything like “The Good Men Project”, for some reason, many feminists believe that they must prove themselves to the feminist movement. This is an obstacle for men getting involved in the movement for women’s equality that I have personally experienced. Is there a litmus test for pro-feminist websites? The ones that are ran by a majority of males seem to be the only ones subjected to it.
Perhaps The Good Men Project isn’t the way you would go about it, but Thomas Matlock is a great man with great ideas and a wonderful goal in the end, and it’s somewhat off-putting that you would post this without linking to an example of what you are talking about, or previously speaking to him about it. I would suggest you have a conversation with him and find out more about the project, and then post an article about the website. It may or may not look different than this, but it will be a lot more credible.
Darin,
I certainly agree that a lot of men (and I won’t pretend to be immune from this) feel as if they need to be especially feminist, as they come into their own in regards to feminism. I however, don’t think that that means I should stop offering criticism and feedback of other men’s feminist websites.
Before I address your main contention, let me begin by saying that I don’t think the Good Men Project identifies as a “feminist” website at all. Their “about us” page says that “Others have called us feminist,” which is an interesting way, I think, of trying to perhaps take on a bit of the mantle of feminism without openly doing so.
But yes, I certainly have a litmus test for pro-feminist websites. Do all feminists have a litmus test? No. Would they all ascribe to mine? No. Are feminists some monstrous unified collective that give out membership cards? Of course not.
I don’t cast aspersion on the character of Tom Matlock. He’s been on this website in fact, and we’ve engaged in courteous exchanges. As I said in my exchanges with him here (http://mendaredo.com/2011/02/20/men-calling-themselves-feminist/), my concern with TGMP is that it often seems to give equal weight to MRA views as opposed to feminist views. I don’t take MRAs very seriously I admit, as many of the ones I’ve encountered just seem to hold standard misogynist views, and I find it regrettable that TGMP gives them a platform or makes them more respectable.
That being said: I like a lot about the TGMP, as I’ve said before. I like that they cover feminist issues. I sometimes grow uneasy when I see posts that talk about men being “good” within the construct of the heteronormative patriarchy, as I think that feminism generally attempts to go outside that construct.
As I said, it’s a bit off putting that you haven’t posted any examples. I don’t understand the notion that TGMP is giving equal weight to MRA, when a search for “men’s rights” at TGMP website yields these results:
http://goodmenproject.com/search-results/?cx=partner-pub-4775189247931609%3A9dqc1peuroy&cof=FORID%3A10&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=men%27s+rights&sa=Search&siteurl=goodmenproject.com%2F#1135
Perhaps that’s equal exposure, but not equal weight in the slightest. If anything, I’d say they have the most unbiased outlook on the issue I have seen from a pro-feminist website (I do consider them as such) based on this article that critiques both the MRA and feminist perspectives.
http://goodmenproject.com/search-results/?cx=partner-pub-4775189247931609%3A9dqc1peuroy&cof=FORID%3A10&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=men%27s+rights&sa=Search&siteurl=goodmenproject.com%2F#1135
This website seems to let people make their own opinions on MRA, and I think that MRA are so ridiculous in their beliefs, that this is the way to go. If given the facts, any intelligent person would understand the issues with their cause. I’m also troubled by the idea that MRA should be entirely silenced. Feminism is a theory, and all theories need to be critiqued. I think we should listen to what these men have to say, and make opinions from there, instead of stigmatizing their beliefs as we do. There’s a lot of hostility between MRA and Feminists, and I think both side4s have contributed to this. A better world is one where both sides can engage in a mature discourse, rather than not acknowledging each other.
I can see your last point, but I think that TGMP has a more mainstream audience that will identify with that heteronormative patriarchy, and although it should not be considered a given lifestyle, it is the lifestyle of a large proportion of men in America, and a lot of men who would read TGMP wouldn’t necessarily read Bitch Magazine or your blog. Progress comes in many different forms, and I cannot grasp the notion that TGMP is not progress.
…my concern with TGMP is that it often seems to give equal weight to MRA views as opposed to feminist views. I don’t take MRAs very seriously I admit, as many of the ones I’ve encountered just seem to hold standard misogynist views, and I find it regrettable that TGMP gives them a platform or makes them more respectable..
I’m not sure about equal weight. If you were reading TGMP a few weeks ago they tried to give some space for MRAs to bring their issues to the table…after getting three feminists to write pieces on the MRAs that sounded more like calculated attacks than attempts at civil conversation (especially the Amanda Marcotte piece).
You may not like MRAs but I honestly don’t see where GMP is giving them equal weight when I think you can count on one hand the number if pieces contributed by MRAs vs the almost weekly pieces by feminists like Hugo Schwyzer.
I really mean no ill intent Jeff but I have a question. Is it possible that your apprehension towards GMP has to do not with MRAs getting equal weight in the discussion but rather that they are getting any weight at all. Bluntly speaking do you think GMP would be better if it just totally shut out MRAs altogether? (Is the silencing of MRAs a part of your litmus test?)
It also doesn’t hurt that, because of the hatred shown towards TGMP Tom Matlock, he seems to be less than happy to give them the time of day.
I can’t totally understand what makes me uncomfortable about TGMP, but I tend to find that 5% of the time it feels great and far more than that it bothers me for varying reasons. It seems to have titles that seemingly draw one in for an interesting topic and then there’s little or no substance there at times. It often lacks depth in its writings when it does go into an interesting topic. It seems to typecast us as men into neat little boxes that may be “good” or “bad”, but don’t really either look at how our “maleness” is either complex (which it often is) and/or recognize that we are also individuals.
I would like for it to help make me think more, but it doesn’t really do that very often. I guess in a sense it feels like it teases me into thinking it is a “New York Times” when it really is a “U.S.A. Today”. I also realize that “making a buck” may be difficult, but I like to read something that is more like in depth writing, rather than catchy commercials with little substance.