What Men Dare Do! "O, what men dare do! What men may do! What men daily do, not knowing what they do!"

12Apr/112

An Open Letter to Boners Re: Feminism

To: Boners Everywhere

Re: You & Feminism

Hey there Boners.  How you doing?  I couldn't help but notice that Feministe has a blog post called "Feminism Makes Boners Sad," about an article by Doctors Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam in Psychology Today called "Why Feminism is the Anti-Viagra." I was concerned that you might be sad and getting misinformed by Psychology Today, so I wanted to give you a bit of straight talk:

Now, Boners, I get it: a Boner is a pretty self-centered thing.  I can't say that I have a whole lot of intellectual control over my own.  Sometimes it happens when I want it to; sometimes it doesn't when I do.  I bring up that you're selfish to make this simple point: I understand Boners aren't intrinsically feminist.  I'm pretty sure I can safely say that you don't ascribe to any ideology.  So the Boner doesn't care if something that turns it on is feminist, or misogynist, or anything else.  The Boner is undiscriminating.  It takes all comers.  It is an equal opportunity employer.  I've written before about how I think feminism for men means that the sex will be better, but I've never really addressed my points to you specifically.

With that said, let us begin, Boners:

Anyone who got any semblance of sexual assault education probably knows this statistic: one in four women who attends college have been victims of sexual assault or attempted sexual assault.  So, Boners, I understand you're self-centered and well, unfeeling (emotionally speaking), so I'm going to talk to your baser instincts.  Having sex with people who have been victims can be very hard.  People often need a lot of help and support, professional and otherwise, to be comfortable with themselves sexually again.  You know who you have to thank for that?  Feminism.

I'm gong to shoot straight with you Boners, a lot of people in this country get some pretty effed up sexual education, where they end up ashamed of their sexuality, afraid to engage in their own pleasure, unwilling to try anything but the most vanilla things with the most vanilla frequently, and well, Boners, that kind of sucks (and not in the good way).  But there's people out there Boners who want everyone to be comfortable with their sexuality, to do what turns them on safely and consensually, and well, give dudes Boners.  That's Feminism there for you.

Now Boners, I don't mean to be a downer or deflate the otherwise happy note of this conversation, but as we all know, not every Boner has a happy ending.  We all know that sometimes Boners can get all sorts of diseases from all sorts of places and things, but luckily, there's way to prevent that with prophylactics that can prevent the spread of STIs and HIV.  You know who's out there spreading the word, distributing contraceptives to low-income people, and pushing for more progressive policies on family planning?  Feminists.

Even though we all came from a Boner some time or another, from every Boner, a child is not made.  But despite our best efforts, sometimes we have unplanned pregnancies, or planned pregnancies that don't progress the way they should.  And the only reason that abortion is an option for women who need them is because of, well, you know who, Feminists.

Now, I know that the average lifespan of a Boner isn't very long, but if we can stretch our minds back a bit, we can probably remember times when we couldn't even talk about sex openly, when sex education was non-existent, or even to times when people believed that sexual activity for non-procreative purposes was sinful.  I mean, I didn't count back then, but I think there were a lot fewer Boners in those days.  It really sounds pretty shitty (and not the kind of shitty that's sometimes the byproduct of well ... a certain former Senator from Pennsylvania).

So Boners, I hope I've been able to get my point across.  Feminism has done an awful lot of awesome stuff to gives lots of dudes Boners.  And If really at the end of the day, you need some good ol' Victorian misogyny to get the blood flowing, well, there's all sorts of roleplay for that, which you know, is only really acceptable due to a lot of work by, well ... you know who.

Love,

Jeff & His Boner

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